I Don’t Do Strategy
Let me state for the record that I
totally understand the concept, golf is a game of strategy. It’s just not in my
game plan. Whompers don’t do strategy or at least, don’t do strategy well. Calculating
yardage, verifying the pin placement, selecting the appropriate club or using
the best brand ball for your play is serious business to most golfers. Guess I
don’t fit into that “most” category and don’t take the game that seriously.
My assessment, strategy contributes
to a stressful round as does having higher expectations than what you know to
be reasonable. I know my limitations plus I’m too laid back to let any game
ruin my day or life. Those who play with me typically have a full appreciation
of what they’ve signed up for within the first two or three holes.
Seriously strategic golfers should
never invite me into their foursome. That’s why I don’t perform well in those
captain’s choice, best ball type tournaments. I have no best ball and I
certainly wouldn’t be a captain’s choice for partner; too much strategy for me.
I receive a best ball invite because I can putt fairly well. Heck I’ll putt
from thirty yards off the green when possible; Texas wedging it to the hole.
I find it comical when my playing
partners agonize over their club selections determining if this shot requires
their one hundred yard club or their one hundred twenty yard club. I don’t have
clubs for ten or twenty yard increments.
I play old man golf using about
four different clubs from my bag, more if you count my assortment of three
wedges. Par fours and fives; driver off the tee, seven wood or number five hybrid
from the fairway, then my bronze headed wedge one hundred thirty yards to
ninety yards, 52° wedge between ninety yards and sixty yards, then 60° wedge for
all others unless I’m using the putter aka Texas wedge. Par threes, choices are
wedge, a nine wood or my five hybrid, unless driver is required. Stating my
game plan already sounds too much like strategy for me.
Yardage, I check it only to
determine if this is a wedge or wood shot. One of my buddies has one of those
Sky Caddies glued to his hip so he can determine the exact distance to the pin.
Knowing the distance doesn’t play into my game as much as direction does. My
aim and direction doesn’t always agree. Knowing how far to hit it and actually
hitting toward that yardage is what makes my game so challenging. A hundred fifty yard second shot to the green
might be a two hundred twenty five yard third shot for me from an adjacent
fairway.
Ball selection is so over rated.
Use a white one or yellow if you prefer. For the past three years living
parallel to the green on a one hundred seventy yard Par three, I have become
accustomed to collecting balls. I no longer buy balls. I just wait for them to
fall from the sky then sort and egg crate them for later use. So far I’ve
accumulated over three hundred with only one broken window. I dump a dozen in
the bag when I get low. My buddies often ask when helping me look for my ball,
“what were you hitting, how’d you have it marked?” My response, “I’m not sure
what brand but it would have had somebody else’s initials on it.” I don’t lose
as many balls now because what ever we find must be mine. Now that’s strategy.
Reading the breaks on a green, bet
that Sky Caddie doesn’t do that for you? I’ve tried to be a little more patient
and at least squat down behind the ball to look for a slope or something. For
somebody who doesn’t stalk the hole from every angle for five minutes, I putt
pretty well. My toughest vice is waiting my turn as I’m a quick draw both on
the green and in the fairway. Slow play is the kiss of death for my game. If I
have to wait, the mind wanders all over the place. If I did do strategy then I
could probably occupy those long intervals.
It’s fun to watch someone plan their
shot. “Should I draw the ball? Is this the place to use a fade? Hook it or
slice it? Flop it or bump and run? Sometimes I picture a third base coach out
in the fairway giving them the signs. I’d be taking off the bunt sign and
having them swing for the fences.
Here’s my game in nut shell. I grab
one of the clubs as mentioned earlier to match the scenario. I hit it. It goes
somewhere. If it’s my tee shot, I’m ecstatic if it goes far. It doesn’t have to
go straight. I address the ball and hit it again, and it goes somewhere else.
If I’m lucky that somewhere else is toward the general direction of the green.
If not, I’ll whomp it again from where ever it landed. I keep whomping it until
I finish the hole or reach double par.
At the end of a hole I mark down my
tally. At the end of the round I tally up the damages. If I’m around 100 or
just below, I’m happy. If I ended the round with the same two balls I
originally pocketed then I’m bragging about the round. If I finish with more
balls than I started, I had a remarkable round, and probably had an opportunity
to do some nature trails. So goes strategy.
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