Thanks for the Memories

First images I have when I think or speak this phrase are those of the legendary Bob Hope; bless his soul, crooning his theme song. I am privileged to have seen the great one at Clemson’s Little John Coliseum. Memories are indeed precious, especially around the holidays. Some could and would debate differences, good verses bad memories. When the holidays arrive, specifically for me, Thanksgiving and Christmas; and yes, it is Christmas, has been and always will be, regardless to the nonsensical, irrational behavior prompted by the insanity dubbed what I refer to as political incorrectiveness. Sorry, memories and tradition go hand in hand for me.

Anyway, Thanksgiving is one where I tend to think of family, not black Friday chaos. I’m surprised the political pundits haven’t claimed foul for naming it that. Heaven help us if it had been called White Friday. Growing up in a small southern town, forget finding any stores, filling stations as we called venues that sold gas back in the day before the world crumbled, or restaurants open on Thanksgiving Day. Of course, we had mainly mom and pop establishments then. Family ALWAYS came first. Families large or small gathered, not to watch football or the Macy’s Parade, or feast on an endless supply of food and beverage, but to be around one another, enjoy each other’s company and yes, be thankful for an assortment of things. Well sure, many liked football, parades and food and beverages but that was just the bonus to an already given celebration.

Everyone’s situation and circumstances are different so I can only share mine; take it, leave it, read it or don’t. For people who know me personally, or have read my memoir, The Caregiver’s Son. Outside the Window Looking In; will get where I’m about to take you. For those still in the dark, just try to keep up. I am an only child, coming from parents, where my mom was an only child too. Memories are where I hang my hat now that both my parents are deceased.  Nostalgia, remembering what once was; making new memories from what life offers now. In 2004 I lost my mom to cancer, three months later my dad to Alzheimer’s and Parkinson, five months after that, I lost my grandmother, my mom’s mom; essentially my entire close family bloodline in an eleven month span.  Yes I miss those Thanksgivings with mama, daddy, for many years being celebrated down on South Main in Abbeville, S.C. at my granny and papa’s wood frame mill house.

I smile thinking about turkey, ham, homemade potato salad (not that gosh awful sweet kind), cream corn, traditional giblet gravy and dressing, green snap beans, cathead biscuits, banana pudding (real nanna put’in) and sweet tea with sugar not sweetener. In my young eyes back then, Thanksgiving was a portal, the sign that Christmas was the next stop on the kid merry-go-round. I was surrounded by family, granny and papa, mama and daddy and assortment sometimes of uncles, aunts and cousins. We laughed. We joked. Tears were shared reminiscing about those we had lost. These were good tears of course. The bond was strong, traditional and genuine. Even as a kid I could feel it.  Those who haven’t experienced this or snub the notion of celebrating holidays that have made our nation strong, then to coin Mister ‘T’ from the A-Team, ‘I pity the fool.’ 

Whether times are hard or bountiful or anywhere in between, you can always find reasons to be thankful for what you have. Sure, you can play the pity game, fume and fuss about your situation, begrudge those who might have it better than you, but look around; as bad as things might be for you, others might have it worse. Those who live their lives based on entitlement, what’s yours should be mine, even if I didn’t have to lift a finger, in the long run live miserable lives. Be happy for those who have prospered. They didn’t do it to make your life worse. Demanding they share is wrong on so many levels. People should give and share because they want to, not because they have to, that it is expected. Be thankful for what YOU have, not spiteful for what others have. I’m on old man now, by comparison, and keeping it real. I often catch myself grumbling about this and that, an ache or a pain, unable to do things possibly as good as I used to but I stop short; seeing others with heath issues or terminal sicknesses. Thanksgiving is that one day a year that allows us to give thanks. It doesn’t mean that it’s the only day that we can.

Yes, I miss my family, those who have left me behind to carry on tradition. I have memories though and I have a new family. We’re eight strong here at the beach. I’m thankful where one ended, the other picked up the slack. While turkey is the traditional choice, it really doesn’t matter whether one graces your table or not. It’s just a big ole fat yard bird, that’s all. I can make a gourmet meal out of can of Spam.  It is what you make out of it, what you’re willing to make out of it. Familysgiving Day, I just started a new tradition, served up with warm hugs, wet kisses and a hearty helping of love put’in, nannas optional.  

Happy Familysday Ya’ll

A Merry Christmas is Just Around the Corner