Score Card Rules
Tales from the Whomper
OK, I concede that there should be
rules on the golf course but what I don’t understand is why they must reference
U.S.G.A. Rules on the score cards. U.S.G.A.
rules shall govern all play. U.S.G.A. rules apply. U.S.G.A. rules govern play. U.S.G.A. rules govern
play except where modified by local rules. U.S.G.A. rules govern all play unless
amended by local rule. Hey, we’re Whompers. Most of us don’t even know the
meaning of the acronym. Heck most of us
don’t know the definition of acronym. And besides the touring professional, who
really carries a U.S.G.A. Rule Book; certainly not the average guy?
As if we didn’t
have enough to deal with, each golf course tosses in its own little list of
rules that may or may not comply with U.S.G.A. These typically include an assortment
of out of bounds rules. We must contend with the meaning of the white stakes,
yellow stakes, red stakes or that confusing water hazard flag that is not
marking the hole on the green. Let’s not forget the environmentally sensitive
areas that will require referring to Rule 26/1 if you’re unfortunate enough to
whack your ball in the swamp land.
Oh yeah, the roads
are out of bounds to the right of #1 and to the left of #18. I’m not even going
to mention those shots that slam a condo, house or barbeque grill. Is it
acceptable to retrieve your ball if no one is in the yard or comes outside
after you rattle their siding? And don’t play from their flower beds as you
must take a drop and seek relief not nearer to hole. My buddies do relieve themselves
in the flowers whether their ball landed in the bed or not. One is specifically
attracted to azaleas.
Rake bunkers,
repair ball marks, and fill divots with sand provided on your cart. Look,
there’s enough sand on the golf course without us having to haul it around on
the cart. I’m proud of those divots, especially the ones that could sub for a
hair rug.
Each operator of
golf cart must be at least 16 years of age. Trust me, age shouldn’t be
considered as a requirement. We have members in our group that are triple that
age and we won’t let them drive the cart but then again, that too is another
story.
Please keep pace
of play in mind. We always keep this in mind especially when the group ahead is
going too slow. The most bazaar rule appeared on a score card in the Dominican Republic
Proper golf attire
required. Now here’s where we could probably use another rule book. I’ll devote
a segment on golf trending in a future article. Keep the rule simple; no jeans
allowed, collared shirt and shoes required. Non-metal
spike facility appeared on one card. I didn’t know they still made metal
spikes?
The most
un-American rule: Coolers Not Allowed. Trust me, there are many counters to
this rule; all of which I will cover in another segment also. The newer golf
bags are wondrous inventions as are the creative minds of the Whomper.
The listings of
ball drop areas are a good thing even though many that we select are not always
listed on the card. For those rules not
governed by the U.S.G.A. or local course you must consult your foursome or
just go out on a limb and make that call yourself.
We do have our own
rules too. Rock and root rules, improving a lie, proper usage of a mulligan,
when is a ball really out of bounds, rake use other than in bunkers and when to
call a do-over are an intricate part of the round just to mention a few. Pencil
these in if needed or just fluff them like we do. Fair ways are fair plays; the
jury of your peers will decide.
Rules, sort of
reminds me of that one about not removing that tag from a mattress. Who really
knows or cares if you follow them or not unless you’re in tournament play or it
means something to your golfing buddies. When you shoot in triple digits, rules
are the least of your problems. Oops, I said I’d keep this under 800 words. Darn,
I’m at 812.
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