‘The Griswolds Have Nothing on Us’

Day 3: Nassau is Not NASA 

Docked and ready to see the space shuttle, a few astronauts and launch pads…you’d be surprised. Time to disembark; my down is sometimes up. We’re so used to ascending we forgot today we’d be descending three decks and six flights of stairs. Our little ole Fascination is a mere baby boat docked between the massive behemoths of the sea from Disney and Royal Caribbean. The humongous Royal Caribbean’s International of the Seas has nothing but balcony rooms. Even the interior rooms have balconies so we were told. I find my self suffering from a severe case of ship envy. Size does matter. I feel so inadequate and out gunned. No need wishing what I can’t have so we head a shore, the whole time, the ballad of the SS Minnow is playing over and over in my head, a three hour tour. There’s only one tune worse, It’s a Small World After All. Dang it, now I got that one in my head, thank me very much.  

We’ve played this game before, having been to Nassau more times that I can possibly remember. We know the walk, the lay of the land and typically do our little walk about through the various tourist trap shops before returning to the ship in time for a Lido deck visit. In one shop I spot a Book Nook. Just as the ship’s library, it is void of any T. Allen Winn masterpieces. I will have a word with my fan club president and only member of that illustrious group and have her inquire why they don’t. In another shop we zoom in on a coupe wearing Costal Carolina Teal tee-shirts. We walk over and speak to them. They are from New York and have been on nearly forty cruises, blowing us out of the water. Their grandson has just started CCU, receiving a scholarship in track. He’s a high jumper. We swap emails and I take a photo of them, small world after all.  Dang it, I should have never keyed that in.  

Thinking towards eventual retirement, I eye these unique cork creations of animals. A sign warns no photographs. Somehow I manage to heed the warning. I tell my lovely wife, the wine connoisseur to start saving her corks. I might have a creative moment. Screw off caps are not going to kick start my creative potential. We trek on, completing our three or four block loop. Coping with the heat and humidity as best we can, we make our purchases, two bottles of water, a buck a piece, one genuine Bahamas souvenir golf visor, made in China, 6 dollars, sweaty and smelly, priceless.  

We’re no longer sun worshippers, me being the only one foolish enough to bring a bathing suit so dock day can be quite boring on the Fun Ship.  But, wait, we have endless eating to fill our afternoon until our 6 PM early dinning. I might qualify as a Sumo wrestler by the time we debark in Jacksonville.  

After dinner, we settle in at the Piano Bar for a second helping at 9 PM, solo of course as our cruising partners returned to their cabin, predicted. The ivory keys were as good as the first time. At 10 PM one of the clubs is supposed to have an hour of country music. We’re up for a little country music and Texas two stepping. We arrive, secure us a seat and after three songs of watching a non-energetic or entertaining DJ playing country, no one on the dance floor, we decide to leave. I can do better playing songs on my radio while commuting to work Mon-Fir. We call it a night.  

Oh, I nearly forgot, shortly have we hit the seas again and the casino opened, I tried my luck at quarter slots again. We had learned to use our on board cards as cash and could earn points as we played. 1000 earned points guaranteed free drinks. Go figure, I played on that same ten dollars foe a good thirty or so minutes, eventually cashing out @ seventy dollars. Between the two of us we were netting $20 to the win column. I had earned a big ole whopping 63 points towards my 1000 point high roller status. I was living large…NOT! A Win is a Winn. 

My book juices are always flowing. I pondered a cruise novel with the Love Boat theme song now playing annoyingly in my head. Cruising Dead, a zombie thriller, Lido Lovers, the Tale of the Cannibal Chef, The Constant Cruiser, old lady cruising continuously one cruise after the next, a soul eater, having her way with an endless buffet of folks, or maybe, Triangular, Trudy and Woody investigate why passengers are vanishing on certain cruises. Yep, that’s me, I think about stuff.  

Tomorrow we’ll be anchored at the private island, Half Moon Cay or as the crew calls it Half Mon-key.